she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
