super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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