it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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