If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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