party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I didn't notice because vodka
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
