he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
