I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Randomize
