you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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