roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
