the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
