i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
