Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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