His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
