the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
