haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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