is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I've blown a few things in my day
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
