Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
you win again, gameday.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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