Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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