we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
