are you still at the devil's house?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
