We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
