btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
