Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
