do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
