thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
