I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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