Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
