last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
just tell him i said nine months
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
