I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
