I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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