so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
