You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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