??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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