Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
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