i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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