K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
