Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
