I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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