R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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