I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize