So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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