i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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