I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
