was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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