he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
only if we run a train.
done.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Someone signed my nipple.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
