that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
