need another drink. this is the easiest way
If that was your dad, he is hot
4 words: hood of his car
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
