My hand turned me down
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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