Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Houston, we have a blender
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
