she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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