im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
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