i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I think a kid would responsible me up
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
