I'm eating all of the evidence.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
splinters make it hard to masturbate
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
