After last night, I could never be a politician.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize