well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
