Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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