We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
