Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
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