I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
