Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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