I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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